


my heart blooms for you

by rosllyn (orphan_account)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Falling In Love, Flashbacks, Florist Felix, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Soulmates, Kingdoms & Royalty, M/M, Not A Happy Ending, Prince Changbin, Referenced War, Sacrifice, Sad and Beautiful, Secret Relationship, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:40:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26271289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/rosllyn
Summary: They turn to some narrow, dark alleyways that run between the old stone houses. When they’re out of anyone’s sight, Felix suddenly, yet carefully, reaches to hold Changbin’s hand in his.And just like that, as easily as breathing, they fall into something irreversible. Into something beautiful.~~Prince Changbin builds the royal gardens for the love of his life who he has to let go of.
Relationships: Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 10
Kudos: 39





	my heart blooms for you

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> I'm sure many of you know the drill, but in case someone doesn't; the parts written in regular typing are the present time and the parts written in italic typing are flashbacks. The emphasis in this story is on the flashbacks.
> 
> This fic was quite fun to write, so I really hope that you also enjoy reading it! <3

Changbin wakes up to the sensation of warm sunlight on his eyelids. 

The curtain in front of the window has been carelessly shut, leaving a gap that now lets the sunbeams enter the room. The dance of the tiniest dust particles in the air can be seen where the light travels ahead.

Changbin lifts his hand to cover his eyes from the direct sunshine. Then he sits up on his bed, tiredly blinking his eyes and then rubbing them with the back of his fingers a little. 

His head feels heavy. And so does his heart, even more so.

Changbin looks to his side, at the nightstand right next to his bed. On it, in an old crystal vase half filled with water, is a bunch of beautiful sunflowers. The flowers are leaning towards the window, perking up at the bright sunlight after having spent the night in darkness.

Changbin smiles a little. He’s taken the habit of always having sunflowers in his room. Picked from the garden outside of course.

They remind him of Felix.

_The small bell above the door chimes when Changbin enters the flower shop._

_He is greeted by the slightly humid, warm air that has scent filled with all things flowery and green. It’s a nice comparison to the still slightly cold spring air outside. The snow has melted a while ago already and the sun shines every day, but the temperature is still staying rather low._

_Changbin walks further inside and observes the flowers all around. He’s quite familiar with the shop, but they always have something new up. Especially when a season changes to another._

_Changbin has his back turned to the counter, when someone suddenly appears on the other side of it from the backroom. They cut Changbin’s train of thoughts when suddenly greeting him happily,_

_“Hello! Could I help you with anything?”_

_Changbin surprises. Not because someone greets him, but because he doesn’t recognize the voice. As long as Changbin can remember, the only person working in the flower shop has been the owner. An old man with a burning passion for flowers. But this voice belongs to a young man. Changbin turns around._

_His heart skips a beat. Standing behind the counter stands a blonde-haired young man with the prettiest smile on his face, and dark-brown, sparkling eyes that are currently giving all of their attention to Changbin. There are delicate freckles splattered across his face, highlighting his beautiful features. He’s wearing some plain clothes and an apron to shelter them._

_“Hello”, Changbin greets, a slightly shy smile taking a place on his lips, “You must be new here, I haven’t seen you before”, he then says. It’s a little leading question, Changbin realizes he hopes that maybe the new employee will reveal something about himself. A name, maybe where he comes from._

_“You’re right”, the blonde-haired male smiles, “I just recently moved here. I’m Felix”, he tells._

_Changbin smiles and walks closer to the counter and hence, closer to Felix._

_“Nice to meet you Felix. I’m Changbin”, he tells his name in turn. He waits if Felix knows who he is, but the other doesn’t seem to even bat an eyelid after hearing his name. He must not know very much about the royal family. Which, in Changbin’s opinion, is a really nice change. It’s sometimes very tiring to go anywhere and always have people bowing down on him._

_“Where are you coming from?” Changbin then asks._

_“From the North”, Felix answers and his smile turns to a sad one, “You know, where the wars have pretty much destroyed everything”_

_Changbin feels a bang of pain in his heart for Felix. He’s a war survivor, Changbin realizes, having left his home in hopes of looking for a better life._

_“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry”, Changbin says quietly._

_“It’s okay. I was really fortuned to have found this town. Mr. Moon is very kind to let me work here. I love flowers, yet I’m still not an expert when it comes to them”, Felix tells, “But now I’m just blabbering about myself! You obviously came here for something, flowers probably. So, what can I get for you?”_

_Changbin already knows he wouldn’t mind listening to Felix’s “blabbering” a lot longer._

_“You’re not blabbering”, Changbin smiles, “But you’re right, I came to-”_

_Changbin gets interrupted when Mr. Moon suddenly appears next to Felix. His eyes land on Changbin and he immediately bows deeply._

_“Welcome Your Higness. This is an honor, as always”, he says and then stands up properly again. Felix next to him looks beyond confused. Mr. Moon notices._

_“Felix?”, he asks sharply, “Did you bow to our Kingdom’s crown prince?”_

_Felix’s eyes widen and he starts to look a little panicked, “No. I’m so sorry, I didn’t kno-”_

_Mr. Moon smacks the back of Felix’s head and then bows again, “I’m deeply sorry for my new employee’s actions Your Highness”, he says. Felix next to him bows now also._

_Heavy embarrassment churns in the pit of Changbin’s stomach. He hates moments like these._

_“It’s perfectly okay. He didn’t know”, he says to Mr. Moon, smiling from outside and grimacing from the inside._

_“Thank you, Your Highness. Now, if I’m not mistaken, it is your mother’s birthday tomorrow. Should I make a bouquet for her, from her favorite flowers of course”, Mr. Moon then proposes._

_“That is exactly why I’m here”, Changbin says. Mr. Moon nods and then he moves to start making the bouquet. Changbin and Felix stay to stand next to the counter. Before Felix has the time to say anything, Changbin quickly opens his mouth._

_“Please don’t “Your Highness” me, okay?” he pleads quietly. Felix looks at him surprised, but then after a second, he bursts out laughing. The sound makes Changbin’s heart flutter._

_“I won’t, I promise”, Felix says. Happiness bubbles inside Changbin when he sees that Felix looks at him the same way he did before he knew who Changbin was. He doesn’t get that very often._

_“Thanks. I really hate it, you know”, Changbin says. He knows he shouldn’t be telling these kinds of things to anyone, but somehow, he knows he can trust Felix._

_The other looks at him with a pair of perceptive eyes, “I think I know what you mean”, he then whispers. Changbin gives him a small, slightly sad smile._

_Mr. Moon finishes the bouquet. It’s a beautiful combination of flowers, main color being violet. Changbin pays for it, and then it’s time to get back to the castle. He finds himself hoping there was a reason to stay longer._

_“Come by again?” Felix asks, hope and slight shyness painting his words._

_“I will”, Changbin promises. He’s pretty sure he couldn’t stay away, even if he wanted to._

_Good thing he doesn’t want to._

Changbin tears his eyes from the sunflowers and looks around the all too familiar room. It’s still pretty dark in the corners where the sunshine doesn’t reach. He sighs and gets up from the bed, walking over to the window and drawing the curtains open.

The early autumn sun is shining high on the cloudless sky. It looks to be warm outside. Not that it matters, this day will be spent indoors.

Changbin turns around and realizes that someone has already brought him breakfast. There’s a tray on the desk, filled with beautifully set, colorful food items. Usually Changbin would eat breakfast in the dining hall, or maybe somewhere near the kitchen if he was feeling rebellious. But now the servants and perhaps his mother have probably thought that he might want to have some time for himself before the ceremonies start. Changbin sighs in relief.

He’s not feeling hungry though. Actually, he doesn’t really have an appetite at all, but he knows he must eat at least something. Otherwise it might lead to him passing out in the middle of everything or something equally embarrassing.

Changbin takes the tray and walks with it back to his bed. He sits down on the edge of it and sets the tray next to him. Then he stares at the food for a long time, before finally picking up a piece of fresh orange.

He eats slowly, simultaneously drowning somewhere deep in his thoughts.

_A warm summer breeze twirls in the air. Changbin waits outside the flower shop._

_He’s clothed to some old, plain clothes that make him look like any other villager. Anyone who walks past him doesn’t pay him any mind._

_The sun is already setting in the horizon, painting the sky in orange hue. Felix should get off from work any minute now._

_Changbin has been visiting the flower shop regularly, always having come up with some stupid excuse to be buying flowers. Felix, having played along and really been diligently studying about plants, has had a perfect flower for any kind of opening of an envelope. But Changbin would love to spend time with Felix someplace else, away from any prying eyes._

_Changbin can’t deny it, whenever he manages to escape from the castle and his exhausting duties, he finds himself wishing he could spend those moments with Felix._

_Speaking of the younger, Felix steps out of the flower shop. At first glance, he doesn’t pay much mind to Changbin, but after a second, he looks again. Then his expression turns into a bright smile, revealing his white teeth behind the pink lips._

_“Changbin?” he says with a hushed voice, even if there’s no one currently around. He walks closer to the older, “What are you doing here?”_

_“I thought we could do something together? If you have time”, Changbin proposes, a small, hopeful smile dancing on his lips._

_“Of course I have time”, Felix answers, “I always have time for you”, he then adds under his breath. Changbin isn’t sure if he heard it correctly, but he sure hopes so._

_“Great. I thought I could show you one place. I always go there when I want to be alone”, Changbin tells. It’s a small, sheltered lake just outside the town border, hiding behind some ancient weeping willows._

_“You’re going to show me your secret hiding place?” Felix’s tone is teasing, but he isn’t able to mask the pure joy in his expressions._

_“Yeah”, Changbin admits and lets out a small laugh. He nudges the younger to start walking with him._

_They turn to some narrow, dark alleyways that run between the old stone houses. When they’re out of anyone’s sight, Felix suddenly, yet carefully, reaches to hold Changbin’s hand in his._

_And just like that, as easily as breathing, they fall into something irreversible._

_Into something beautiful._

Changbin breaks out of his reverie when there’s suddenly a sharp knock on the door. He jumps up from the bed and quickly pulls a satin morning gown over his pyjamas. Then he says loudly,

“Come in!”

The door handle turns and the door opens. A maid steps in, carrying some sort of bag with her. She immediately bows to Changbin, “Good morning, Your Highness”, she says and then she closes the door behind herself.

“Good morning”, Changbin says and watches as the girl takes a couple of steps closer to him.

She must be new, just recently hired, because Changbin has never seen her before. She’s very young, can’t be older than sixteen. She has a wide smile on her face, round and innocent-looking blue eyes and shoulder length hair. She’s wearing the dress every maid is, and there’s a white headband placed over her ginger hair.

“I’ve been assigned to help you get ready, Your Highness”, the maid announces, “All the older servants are super busy with the last-minute wedding and coronation arrangement, so they sent me. I’m new so I don’t know very much about what goes where and when, especially when it comes to the party. But I do know how to dress up a guy!” she then explains, her perky voice and honest explanation admittedly amusing Changbin just a little.

“I do know how to dress myself though”, Changbin can’t help but to say. He doesn’t exactly need help when it comes to dressing himself.

“I’m sure you do. But do you know how to style your hair, apply some undetectable makeup and pick the perfect accessories?”

Changbin blinks a few times. Then he sighs, “Okay, you got me”

“Exactly”, the girl smiles widely, “Your mother has already picked the perfect clothes for you. They’re waiting behind the folding screen over there, Your Highness”, she points at the folding screen behind which Changbin always changes his clothes, “Go change and I will set my equipment here. Call me immediately if you need help”

Changbin nods and walks behind the folding screen. There, as said, are waiting the pretentious clothes in which he’ll be getting married and getting crowned as the kind today.

Changbin sighs and starts changing.

_Changbin opens the door as quietly as he can and steps out to the chilly autumn night. He’s using one of the small side doors of the castle that the servants usually use when running errands. He leaves the door ajar just a little so that he can also enter it later._

_It’s completely dark outside, but luckily Changbin knows the courtyard like his own pockets. He sets to speed walk to the fence, where there will be a small side-gate._

_The grass crunches under his boots a little, the temperature is lowering under zero during the nights. Trees have already absorbed all the chlorophyll from their leaves, leaving the leaves in beautiful shades of red, orange and brown. Rowan trees have carried lots and lots of berries ever since the beginning of autumn. Which is believed to mean that the upcoming winter will be cold._

_Autumn has always been Changbin’s favorite season._

_Changbin reaches the gate. Felix is already standing on the other side of it, waiting._

_Changbin is going to show him the castle. Obviously, it’s not allowed to be bringing outsiders to the royal castle, so that’s why they’re doing this during the night when everyone’s asleep. Changbin’s not actually even allowed to be making friends let alone anything else from the “mundane” villagers. But it’s not like that’s ever going to stop him._

_“Hey”, Changbin smiles and opens the gate._

_“Hey”, Felix says and reaches to give Changbin a quick hug. Then they set off walking towards the door that the older had left open for them, carefully making their way in the shadows._

_“Are we still sure that this is a good idea?” Felix whispers when they’re fast approaching their secret entrance._

_“Yes”, Changbin whispers with no hesitation, “Everyone’s asleep. And even if someone isn’t, the only people we have to worry about are my parents. I’m the prince, so most of the servants will do as I say and the rest we can just bribe if we have to”, he then grins._

_They reach the door. It leads to the cellar area where all kinds of storages are located. There they can make their way upwards and Changbin can show Felix the whole castle. They’ll be running around the whole night. Luckily, Changbin knows all the secret passageways, all the corners and nooks where one can hide and all the rooms where anyone could be sleeping in, were they to run into someone._

_“You ready?” Changbin asks, taking a hold of the handle of the heavy wooden door._

_“Almost”, Felix whispers, taking the older’s hand in his. Changbin turns to face Felix again._

_“There’s just something I want to do first, just in case your parents end up catching us and decide to behead me”, the younger says, smiling a little as he takes a step closer to Changbin._

_Changbin’s heart thumps nervously in his chest when Felix leans closer and presses his lips on his. He feels like they’ve been dancing around this for a long time now._

_The kiss is soft. And sweet. And warm, and somehow almost familiar. Changbin wonders if this is what it’s like to kiss your soulmate._

_Felix’s smile could light up galaxies. Changbin is pretty sure his own smile mirrors the younger’s perfectly._

“You look very handsome, Your Highness”, the maid says when Changbin walks from behind the folding screen, now all dressed up in his suit.

Changbin just gives her a small, polite smile.

“Now, please sit here, Your Highness. I will do you hair and makeup”, she then says and pulls a chair for the almost-king. Changbin complies and sits down. The maid gets to work immediately.

“So, big day today. You’re getting married, are you excited?” she clearly can’t stop herself from asking. She looks and sounds really excited, Changbin notes. She probably thinks this is like some fairytale where the perfectly in love prince and princess get married and have their happily ever after. Changbin doesn’t want to be the one taking the nice belief from her.

So, he musters up a smile as genuine as he can, and says, as convincingly as he’s able, “Yeah. I am”

A silence falls upon them, the maid doesn’t say anything for a long time. 

Then, suddenly, she spokes up again, “You don’t love her, do you”

It’s missing the rising intonation from the end, so it isn’t a question. It is a statement. Clearly Changbin wasn’t as convincing as he thought.

He should keep convincing her, tell her that yes, yes he is very happy and very excited. But what ends up coming out of his mouth is, “I don’t even know her”

The last time they met, was when they were both just kids. Changbin remembers that they had fun running through the castle, but he doesn’t remember what kind of personality she has or what she looks like. And it wouldn't even matter if he did, because she could be a completely different person today. 

“Why are you marrying her, Your Highness?” the maid whispers. She understands that this is a subject outsiders shouldn’t even know about, so she needs to be quiet. Actually, she shouldn’t even be asking about it. 

And again, Changbin shouldn’t be talking about it with anyone, but he decides to just be honest, “Because it’s the right thing to do”

Changbin tries to look brave and accepting of the situation, but the maid must see the pain and loss that’s hidden behind his eyes.

She’s quiet for a moment again, just working with Changbin’s hair. But then, eventually, she breaks the silence again, 

“Was there someone else, Your Highness?”

_“Don’t you dare to let go”, Changbin cries out and clutches to Felix for dear life as he’s trying not to fall on the ice skates._

_Felix’s bright laugh echoes in the silent forest. The snow-covered trees are sheltering the frozen lake where the two lovers are currently ice-skating. Or, where Felix is trying to teach the older how to ice-skate._

_“Who would have thought?” Felix laughs, “Our Kingdom’s beloved crown prince doesn’t know how to skate”_

_“Oh shut up. When you were learning how to skate, I was learning the proper etiquette. What fork or spoon to use, how to address my elders, how to assert my dominance as a crown prince or some shit like that...”, Changbin lets his voice fade out and then sighs deeply, “God, I hate being a prince”_

_The younger gives him a sympathetic look, “I know. I hate you being a prince too”, he says quietly. Then he leans to peck Changbin on the lips and smiles brighter again, “But let’s not concentrate on that now. We have some skating to learn!”_

_The older rolls his eyes but can’t help it when a smile raises to his lips._

_“Now, you gotta bend your knees a bit. You can’t skate if your legs are like two wooden blocks”, Felix starts to instruct._

_It takes some tries, but eventually Changbin manages to move ahead on his skates. Still holding onto Felix though._

_“You’re doing great!” Felix exclaims happily, “You should try without holding onto me”_

_“What?” Changbin panics. He’s pretty sure he’ll make an instant faceplant if he lets go of the younger. But before he has time to protest, Felix somehow manages to detach himself from the older’s death grip._

_Changbin loses his balance immediately. He most likely could have stayed standing, but he guesses he let the fear have the upper hand. He automatically reaches for anything to grab on to prevent himself from falling. Obviously, the closest thing is Felix. Good thing the younger knows what’s coming because he also automatically reaches to take a hold of Changbin again._

_They end up falling down on the ice, on top of each other. Felix underneath, his back against the cold ice, and Changbin on top of him as a pile of gooey limbs. Their faces are just inches apart, and for a moment, they just stare at each other with eyes blown wide._

_Then they both burst out laughing._

_Their dramatic fall has flown the thin layer of powder snow on the ice around them into the air. Changbin looks as the small, glimmering snowflakes float around them, sticking themselves to Felix’s hair and beanie. They make the younger’s golden hair sparkle under the winter sun._

_When they cease the laughing, Changbin presses a careful kiss on Felix’s lips and whispers,_

_“I love you, Felix”_

_Another kiss. This time prompted by the younger._

_“I love you too, Changbin”_

Changbin has never had to deny Felix because no one has ever asked about him. So now that the maid is asking if there was someone else, Changbin realizes it’ll kill him if he has to lie and say no.

He’s pretty surprised by the boldness of the maid. And pretty delighted too, if he’s being honest.

“Aren’t you pretty bold asking these questions from your almost-king?” Changbin asks, raising his eyebrows at the girl, smile twitching in the corners of his lips.

“Yeah, I am. My boldness is what will most likely get me killed sooner or later”, she shrugs. There’s another small silence, as the maid puts the last touches of makeup on Changbin’s eyelids. Then she leans away from him again, and brings them back to the original subject. Quietly, she says, 

“You didn’t deny it”

Changbin turns his eyes away, longing weighing his heart down.

“What were they like?”

_Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump.._

_Changbin’s heart pounds like possessed in his chest. Partly due to him running as fast as he can, partly due to the sheer panic and disbelief pulsing through his veins._

_He runs all the way to Felix’s tiny apartment, not stopping to take a breath and not caring to avoid any of the huge puddles on the streets. His shoes and pants are pretty much soaking wet when he reaches the door. He pounds on it. It doesn’t take long for Felix to open the door._

_The younger’s expression turns worried immediately after seeing Changbin’s bewildered state,_

_“Changbin? What’s go-”, he starts but gets interrupted when the older pushes past him and storms inside the apartment. Felix pushes the door closed and goes after Changbin._

_“Felix, we have to leave! We have to leave this Kindgom we can’t stay here we have to run away I can’t lose you but I will if we stay we need to go they’re going to make me the king and make me marry someone else and-”_

_“Changbin! Changbin!” Felix exclaims over the older’s panicky rant. He grabs a hold on Changbin’s wrist to stop him from flailing around and forcing him to an eye contact, “Breathe. I don’t understand what you’re saying, you need to calm down and explain”_

_He leads the older to sit on his bed. Changbin takes some deep breaths, trying to calm his body and his mind. When Felix has gotten the older to sit down and breathe properly, he rushes to get him a glass of water. Changbin accepts the water and drinks it all, this time functioning with caution, just to not choke himself on the water._

_“Okay, let’s start again. Tell me everything”, Felix says and sits down right next to the older. He’s trying to stay calm. Obviously he heard those things the older had just said, and even if he didn’t quite understand the whole picture yet, there’s already a nauseating fear growing in the pit of his stomach, having realized that it’s something bad. Something that concerns Changbin and him, and gets the older acting in full panic mode._

_Changbin takes another deep breath, gathering his thoughts to somewhat together,_

_“My parents have been acting weird lately. At first I thought it was just the fact that my father has been in bad health for some time, and that’s partly it, but that’s just the one part of this whole thing. But it stems from there. As you know, probably better than many, there have been massive wars in the North. Well, the Kingdom that’s the reason behind those wars has somehow gotten the information that our king, my father, is sick and too weak to be leading our people if there were to be a war..”_

_Felix takes Changbin’s hand in his and gives it a comforting squeeze, mouthing the words ‘I’m sorry’ to him._

_The older gives him a broken smile and then continues, “So, now there’s a real threat that we might get into a war”, Changbin takes a shaky breath, “But... My parents have come up with a solution..”_

_This is it, Felix realizes, the part that will break him. He feels nauseous._

_“My father is going to step down from the throne. And they will make me the king”, Changbin says. He takes a deep breath again, trying to stop the tears from welling up in his eyes, “But that’s not all. They’re going to make me marry the princess of our neighboring Kingdom. Our families have been friends for a long time. By me marrying their princess, we will be uniting our Kingdoms and founding one big one that will be too powerful for anyone to dare to attack it”_

_Felix is silent for a moment, before choking out, “That’s... that’s an impressive plan”_

_They both know that for any outsider it’s sounds like a good, reasonable plan. Which it is, objectively looking. It’s just hard to be objective when it means you’ll be losing the love of your life._

_“I’m not doing it! I’m not marrying someone else”, Changbin says with desperation dripping in his voice, taking both of Felix’s hands in his, “I’m in love with you. I’m not marrying anyone else. We need to run away Felix. We can build another life somewhere far away from here. Just the two of us, no royalty businesses, no old florist employers snooping into everything, no tiring sneaking around”_

_“I want that, Changbin”, Felix admits earnestly, “I want all of that, but we need to think this through”, it hurts his heart to be saying these words, but they really need to think this through and consider and do what’s right._

_“You’re agitated right now”, Felix detaches his hands from Changbin’s and lifts them to cup the older’s face between his palms, “Let’s not jump into anything radical immediately. A lot can still happen. Your parents might still change their mind and come up with something else, or we can figure something out, or...”, Felix is at loss of words because he knows that sometimes cruel reality is just so much stronger than hope._

_The pain, panic and distress of the day suddenly hit Changbin at once when the adrenaline rushing through his veins finally starts to cease. He slumps in Felix’s hold, every inch of his body is suddenly aching._

_“We will figure this out”, Felix then whispers._

_“You promise?” the older asks, eyes wet from the unshed tears._

_“I promise”, Felix whispers weakly and pulls the older into a hug._

_He hugs Changbin against his chest. This way the older isn’t able to see the tears filled with pain and defeat that start to spill from his eyes._

_“We’ll be okay”, Felix whispers almost inaudibly._

Changbin is beyond surprised by the use of gender-neutral pronoun. When the maid asks what they were like instead of what she was like. He’s never experienced a moment like that. It gives him hope that maybe, one day, things could change. 

Changbin stays quiet for a moment, before whispering, “Perfect. He is perfect. He is the love of my life”

“What’s his name?” the maid asks carefully. Her expression is fragile, she can sense the pain Changbin is feeling and she empathizes with it. 

“Felix”, Changbin tells, giving her a sad smile.

The maid is about to say something else, but they’re interrupted by a knock on the door. Both of them startle a little.

“Your Highness?” Someone says behind the door. They’re not even trying to get in, “Everything is now set and they are ready for you in the ballroom”

“Okay, thank you. I’ll be down in a minute”, Changbin says with a controlled politeness in his voice. He gets up from the chair. Luckily, they’re also ready with his hair and makeup.

The maid pulls up some accessories and quickly helps them on Changbin. Then he’s finally ready to go.

“What’s your name?” Changbin asks the maid when they head to the door.

“It’s Hana, Your Highness”, the maid answers and smiles.

Changbin nods and opens the door, “Walk with me, Hana”, he proposes to the girl. 

“Of course”, she says and sets to walk next to her almost-king as they head down the hallway and then down the stairs.

Towards the ballroom.

_It’s been two weeks since Changbin’s parents broke the news to Changbin and Changbin broke the news to Felix._

_Felix and Changbin haven’t seen each other at all during the past couple of weeks. It’s the longest time they’ve been without seeing each other ever since they met._

_Changbin has tried everything in his power to change the situation but to no avail. He’s still hating every bit of the plan, but Felix had been right. It has been good to just breathe and think everything through over and over again. Changbin still hates every bit of the plan, but he also has a better perspective on the situation now._

_Felix has been drowning in his thoughts. Conflicted between what he wants and what it is that they need to do._

_They’re meeting first time in two weeks. It’s approaching to evening, the sun is shining low on the sky. It’s warm, summer has finally arrived officially again. The boys are sitting at the lake bank, looking how the orange sunlight reflects from the steady water surface. The view is idyllic, but the atmosphere is heavy._

_It’s Felix who breaks the silence._

_“You have to do it”, he says quietly, “You have to marry her and save your Kingdom”, he lifts his gaze to meet Changbin’s eyes. The older can see how Felix’s eyes reflect bottomless sadness, but also brave acceptance of the situation._

_Changbin can feel his heart slowly breaking while looking at Felix and hearing the words he’s saying._

_“I...”, the younger continues, but his voice breaks when tears well up in his eyes, “I love you so much Changbin. I want nothing more than to spend my life with you. But... I’ve lived through war. And it’s something I would never want anyone else to experience”, he takes a deep breath, “We have a chance to save two Kingdoms and countless number of people from getting into a war. We have to take it”_

_Changbin’s heart shatters, but at the same time, he now knows that Felix is right. Changbin might not have ever wanted to be a prince, let alone king, but it’s something that universe seems to have assigned him to do. You can hate the universe, but you can’t fight it._

_Changbin nods, tears freely falling down his cheeks. Felix moves a bit closer, wraps his arm around the older and rests his head on his shoulder._

_“I can’t stay”, Felix then whispers._

_“I know”, Changbin can barely get the words out. He would never ask the younger to stay and watch it happen. Him marrying and building a life with someone else._

_“But we still have a little time, right?” Felix then asks, lifting his head and looking at Changbin again. His eyes hold hope and a glimpse of happiness again, “You’re not getting married tomorrow, are you?”_

_“No. It’ll take some time, there are all kinds of politics and traditions having to be taken care of first”, Changbin smiles just a little, drying the tears from his cheeks to his sleeves._

_Someone else might think it would be easier to just say goodbye now once and for all. Like ripping a bandaid. But both Changbin and Felix want to still spend together whatever small time they have left._

_Felix gives the older a slightly sad, but still a genuine smile. Changbin leans closer and captures the younger’s lips to a careful, long kiss._

_A kiss that says I will always love you to the moon and back._

The hallways and staircases are empty of any people. All the guests are already in the ballroom and the servants are busy preparing the celebration dinner in the kitchen. Changbin and Hana are able to walk without any disruptions. 

“I hope you won’t tell anyone the things we spoke about”, Changbin says quietly to Hana.

The girl gives him an offended look, “Of course I won’t, I’m offended you would even think so”, then she brightens up again, and says jokingly, “Besides, who would I even tell? Anyone would just denounce me as a crazy girl who’s trying to cause trouble. I’d just be beheaded”

Changbin lets out a small laugh, “Yeah, possibly”

They approach the ballroom in a scary pace. Until now, Changbin has been able to distract himself by talking with Hana, but now the actual reality starts to finally sink in.

He feels nauseous. More and more with every step he takes forward.

They stop on the other end of the hallway that leads them to the doors of the ballroom. 

Hana looks at Changbin again, giving him an encouraging smile, “I know you must have a good reason to be doing this. Letting go of the love of your life and marrying the princess because it’s the right thing to do. You’re very brave, Your Highness”, Changbin can see that Hana truly means what she’s saying.

Changbin doesn’t feel too brave, but hopefully he’ll be able to fool everyone. Instead of replying to Hana’s statement, he says instead, “You know, I think you could just call me Changbin”, he feels like they’ve become friends instead of a king and his servant.

“I might be bold, Your Highness, but I don’t think I’m that bold”, Hana grins and winks at him. Changbin smiles.

“I need to be off now, and you need to go inside”, Hana then says, clapping her hands together, “Just so you know, I think you’ll be an amazing king. Good luck, Your Changbinness”, after that, she turns around and heads towards the kitchen where all the other girls are as well.

Changbin on the other hand, turns towards the door leading to the ballroom. He takes a deep breath and then pushes the doors open.

_“Be careful, there’s a threshold ahead”, Changbin instructs Felix, holding the younger’s hand while carefully leading him forwards. Felix has his eyes closed and his free hand put on before them for good measure._

_“This would be a lot easier if I could use my own eyes, you know”, the younger remarks but makes no effort to actually open his eyes._

_“That would ruin the surprise”, Changbin says, smile evident in his voice._

_It’s the break of dawn. Felix and Changbin are currently at the royal castle, the older having something important to show to Felix. They’re able to move around relatively freely, since Changbin’s parents have travelled to the next Kingdom in order to organize for the upcoming wedding and coronations. They’ve taken with them the servants who are first and foremostly loyal to them, having left Changbin with the ones who he can generally trust._

_“Okay, we’re definitely on a balcony now”, Felix says after stepping over the threshold and feeling the morning breeze whirl around him, “What kind of big surprise could you possibly have on a balcony?”_

_Changbin chuckles, “You’ll see. Just a few more steps”, he leads the younger right in front of the railing._

_“Okay, you can now open your eyes”_

_The royal gardens in the castle’s courtyard have been unkempt for years now. Flowers haven’t been blooming there in ages anymore and all the bushes and flowerbeds have grown into shapeless piles of leaves and hay. The king and queen have been too busy with their duties to be really concentrating on it, even if they obviously wouldn’t personally be the ones doing the gardening._

_Changbin has always found the sight a little saddening, but he hasn’t had a reason to do anything about it._

_Until now._

_Felix opens his eyes._

_Before his eyes, opens up a perfect view of the royal garden. Garden that’s now in full bloom with flowers in every color possible. From pearl white, through colors of the rainbow and any the mixes of them, to pure black. Like a colorful celebration of life in front of their eyes._

_The rising sun casts it’s golden beams over the garden, getting all the flowers reaching their blooms and leaves high towards the sky. The morning dew on the plants glimmers under the sunlight, making the view look almost magical._

_Felix is at loss of words, entranced by the beautiful sight in front of them._

_“It’s for you”, Changbin whispers._

_Now the younger tears his eyes from the captivating view and turns to look at Changbin,_

_“For me?”_

_“Yes”, Changbin says and takes Felix’s hand in his again, carefully intertwining their fingers, “I made this all for you. Every single flower is for you. I hope it’ll always remind you of how much I love you. I know you can’t stay, but at least you’ll know that there will always grow a beautiful garden here that was only ever planted for you”_

_“I... This...”, Felix doesn’t even know what to say. His eyes are getting teary again, yet also shining with pure happiness and gratitude. Eventually, he just pulls Changbin into a hug, burying his face in crook of the older’s neck._

_Changbin hugs him tightly, like it was the last time he was able to do it. The heartbreaking realization is, that it probably is one of the very last times. Changbin breathes in Felix’s familiar, comforting scent, trying to press it permanently into the deepest parts of his memory._

_“I love you”, Felix whispers against Changbin’s skin._

_The older whispers the same words back._

_Eventually, they leave the balcony and enter the enchanting garden. They walk through it over and over again. Felix makes a flower crown from white flowers and places it on Changbin’s head, over his raven black hair. Then he shows the older how to do one, and eventually Changbin places a flower crown on Felix’s head. One that he made from sunflowers and daisies._

_Felix collects one flower of each kind in the garden._

_He’ll press them and save as a physical remembrance of the garden that the love of his life planted for him._

Like they’d said, everything is set ready. 

The ballroom is decorated from floor to ceiling and from wall to wall. White chairs, candles, bows, diamonds and gold, wedding arch at the altar, flowers. Lots and lots of flowers. 

Changbin is the one who has chosen the flowers for the wedding. Not because he cares how the decoration looks like, but because he wanted to make sure they wouldn’t use any of the flowers that grow in Felix’s garden. 

Changbin walks across the aisle between the rows and rows of chairs, making his way to the altar to wait for his bride. There will be the wedding first, and after that, the newlywed couple will be crowned as the king and queen.

Everyone looks at Changbin when he walks through the aisle. Changbin doesn’t look at anybody. He looks out of the ballroom’s windows from where he can see the garden outside. It’s still in full bloom despite the fact that autumn has steadily made its way to replace the warm summer.

He only turns his gaze when he reaches the steps to the altar. That’s when he snaps back to reality. He walks up to his place, ready to wait for his bride to walk down the aisle.

_The sky cries on the day Felix leaves. Hard, but not as hard as Changbin’s heart._

_They’re standing at the lake bank, like many, many times before. Just this time it’ll be the last time ever. The recklessly pouring rain is soaking through their clothes and turning the green ground to muddy puddles._

_The lake isn’t far from the official border where the main gate to the town is. Soon, the younger will go there and get into the carriage of a hawker who has agreed to give him a ride to wherever he’s going._

_This is the hardest thing Changbin has ever had to experience._

_“Where will you go?” Changbin’s weak voice almost drowns under the pouring._

_“Wherever my lift takes me. And from there, I’ll have to see”, Felix answers, replacing the sadness in his eyes to a brave smile for a minute. No doubt to assure the older that everything will be just fine. Changbin’s heart aches, “Don’t worry, I’ll be okay”, the younger then says, reaching to take Changbin’s hand in his, like he’s used to do ever since the beginning._

_They’re silent for a moment. Changbin stares at their intertwined hands, warm tears blurring his vision. He blinks a few times rapidly and then lifts his eyes to meet with Felix’s. The younger’s earlier smile has been washed out with the rain and the only thing left is the hopeless sadness of a broken heart._

_“This is it then”, Felix whispers. There’s a quiet, yet heavy finality in his voice and it shatters Changbin’s heart all over again. The older pulls Felix into a tight hug._

_“I’m so sorry it had to go like this”, he cries against the younger’s shoulder._

_“It’s not your fault”, Felix says, his voice cracking when a new set of tears escapes his eyes. Since the very first look at Changbin, Felix had known they were meant to be. And from the moment he had heard that Changbin was a prince, he had known that there’s was a bigger chance of it ending like this than it ending happily. And yet he would have never chosen differently. And he still wouldn’t, even if he were to get the chance to go back and save himself from the heartbreak._

_“I love you, Felix”, Changbin whispers._

_“And I love you. I always will”, Felix says and then detaches himself from the older a little. Just so that he can place the one last kiss on the lips of his lover. It’s just the lightest brush of lips against lips, a ghost of a kiss._

_“Goodbye, Changbin”, Felix whispers. He takes one last look at the dark eyes of the love of his life, gives him one last beautiful smile, and then he turns around. Felix doesn’t look back when he walks away; he’s pretty sure he would physically fall apart if he did._

_“Goodbye, Felix”, Changbin only whispers after he can’t even see the younger anymore._

_He stands there in the pouring rain for a long time._

_Changbin’s heart is in thousands of pieces and every single one of them will always belong to Felix._

She’s very beautiful.

Walking down the aisle in her pearl white dress and veil long enough to follow her steps on the floor. She has long, dark-brown hair done to a complex coiffure, and hazel-colored eyes adorned with long, prominent eyelashes. Her features are delicate and she carries herself with dignity.

Anyone would be so lucky to have her. Changbin feels guilty for not feeling lucky.

He feels guilty for marrying someone who he can never love like he loves Felix. For marrying someone who deserves so, so much better than that.

Luckily, at least she also knows the reason why they’re getting married in the first place.

She stops to stand in front of Changbin. She gives him a small, slightly distant smile. Changbin’s heart aches for Felix. She receives a similar smile back.

Changbin guesses that there was the tiniest part in him that always, up to this very moment, believed that he could still somehow, someday, be with Felix again. 

Maybe he can, in another lifetime.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> Don't be shy, leave your thoughts in the comments :P <3


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